The first warning bell rang during the opening act.
The audience responded with a polite murmur. A hefty man sitting in the back let out a loud grunt, several ladies rummaged through their handbags, fumbling to find the elusive silent mode button on their phones.
A few minutes later, another spectator generously shared the ringtone of their smartphone with everyone present. A wave of outraged whispers rippled through the rows, while a handful of elderly ladies, who had dozed off at the start of the performance, began digging through their purses for their own phones. The hefty man muttered a quiet curse.
The next two calls erupted almost simultaneously, perfectly timed to an especially poignant monologue. “What on earth is going on?” came the agitated whispers. “Who do they think they are? Do they even know where they are?” Judging by the sudden aroma wafting through the air, the hefty man had cracked open a bottle of brandy.
The phones kept ringing and ringing. After what must have been the eighth audacious polyphonic outburst, the brandy enthusiast declared in a resounding voice, “Oh, for fuck’s sake!”
Moments later, his own phone began to ring.
Elia Kabanov is a science writer covering the past, present and future of technology (@metkere)
Illustration by Elia Kabanov feat. Midjourney.